Well this is certainly weird, while I still can't get OBS to run through VNC I was sucessful in getting OBS to run when using the ssh -X option to enable X11 window forwarding.
For posterity the computer than I'm trying to manage OBS from is:
ssh -X pi@<my ip> MESA_GL_VERSION_OVERRIDE=3.3 obs
VERSION="18.04.4 LTS (Bionic Beaver)"
PRETTY_NAME="Ubuntu 18.04.4 LTS"