SOLUTION
Hi guys,
I'm pasting this here as I've just solved a similar problem after a long time going round in circles, in the hope that someone's search engine will land them here and save them the days its taken me to work this out. Problem: obs (and whole computer) grinding to a near halt when adding .mov or .mp4 video background.
I eventually remembered a problem from 15+ years back where I didn't have video Codecs needed to play video files because I couldn't play .mov and .mp4 video in bog standard Windows Media Player. So i tried to just "play the file" outside of obs and sure enough, blank screen.
There were two stages involved in fixing this. You might only need the second step.
My rebuilt / fresh install of Windows 10 Laptop did not have the following:
1) The correct Graphics Drivers. My Laptop comes with Nvidia dedicated GPU and I had installed those drivers, but missing piece was the integrated Intel Graphics Driver. I overlooked this because I did install Nvidia's correct driver thinking that was the job done. I went to Intel's website to update this (and all other intel devices and chipsets inside my machine)
https://www.intel.com/content/www/us/en/support/intel-driver-support-assistant.html
2) Furthermore, it was this step that highlighted the above was the problem, as I got a warning flash across the screen upon my first attempt of installation which said "Setup has detected that you are using the generic graphics driver "Microsoft Basic Render Driver" for your primary GPU" (my Primary GPU was the inbuilt Intel Graphics card). So I installed the K-Lite Codec Pack from:
http://www.codecguide.com/configuration_tips.htm?version=1595
3) I went to my computer manufacturer's website and ran the "Driver Update Tool" where it downloads a file onto your computer, runs a scan, and suggests a myriad of updates you are missing. So if you are on Lenovo, Dell, or whoever, they'll have a support > Drivers (or update my computer) page that, when you find it, will save you a lot of searching and time and bring you up to date for the build of windows you run.
I'm sure that for me it was 1 followed by 2 that helped me the most, the third is optional but I recommend it over the "Device Manager - Update Driver" option because, frankly, it just does not seem to give you the newest drivers from your manufacturer but some other 'make-do' equivalent from windows.
My computer is working well now and I hope yours does too!